


Needy Bees

by OdinSlumped



Series: Dep's Tracks for the End of the World [5]
Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Dissociation, Everyone had a shitty childhood, F/M, Female Character of Color, Hair, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Soft Jacob, Sorry Esther, casual nudity, vegetarian!Jacob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-07-18 00:50:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16107302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OdinSlumped/pseuds/OdinSlumped
Summary: Faith’s little crackheads had absolutely no hair and wore the ugliest sweaters. She’d be damned if they could get her into one of those jumpsuits, either. They’d have to pump her full of the best shit for that to happen."I'm gonna debone you like a fucking trout." She snapped her teeth.John's grip in her hair faltered, "Excuse me?"She heard Jacob stifle a giggle behind his hand and cough to cover it up."You heard me, fuck face. Cut my hair and you'll never know peace."





	Needy Bees

**Author's Note:**

> Needy Bees - Nick Hakim
> 
> I'm personally in love with this song, heads up.  
> Anyway, sorry I've been MIA, I just moved in with my boyfriend and my best friend. We've gone from the East to the West Coast! Couple that with getting a new job, I've been swamped. Luckily, I'll be in training for the next 6 weeks so I should have time to grind some fics out.

Somehow Esther managed to run all the way back to the Whitetail's and straight to Eli's couch, collapsing into it and promptly passing the fuck out. Hours later, she groaned back to the waking world, bones creaking and her jaw popping on a yawn.  
"Oh thank fuck."  
She cracked her eyes open to see Sharky's soot smudged face swim into view. "You've been out for, like, ever. What happened?"  
"Sharky?" Esther croaked.  
He swore again and darted out of view, coming back with a bottle of water. He helped her up and made her drink before she was allowed to answer.  
"Got caught by Jacob," She finished off the bottle and tossed it in the general vicinity of a trash can. She heard a muffled "ow" a little ways away and shrugged.  
"His brothers wanna fuck."  
Sharky's face broke out into the biggest shit-eating grin Esther had ever seen. She held her hands up before he even had a chance to open his mouth.  
"As much as I do enjoy me and Jacob's little....rendezvous and enemies-to-friends-to-lovers is a really satisfying trope, but the truth of the matter is that it only works if the reason the two are “enemies” is for something dumb, like they took the last box of pop tarts before you could or some bullshit like that. Not if, like, one of them is a racist or a mass murderer or a fucking cannibal cult leader!"  
Sharky shook his head at her, "While you were out with the Wolfman himself, I tasted 100 different wines in a cave behind a waterfall and cried into a shaman’s arms, I know more about this than you. You should keep banging him."  
Esther squinted at him. She still wasn't used to being verbally out shitposted. Forget it if Hurk and Sharky were in the same area. It was like watching two bots try to out kin each other.  
"ANYWAY, Jacob recommended I not get snatched up by his baby brother, so let's avoid the fuck out of the Valley." She laid back down on the couch and shut her eyes, clearly done with the conversation. Sharky lifted her legs and sat down, dropping them over his lap.  
“Look, I’m not sayin’ we gotta go there, but I’m pretty sure we gotta go there.”  
“What.” Jacob gave her one job. One job.  
“Pastor J called in while you were shacked up with Jake.”  
Esther groaned and threw an arm over her face. Sharky pat her shin in sympathy.  
“Sucks to suck, amigo.”  
She turned over, face smashed into the arm of the couch. “We’ll go in the morning.”

Esther woke to darkness, she’d been covered with a thick blanket and the light had been turned out. She smiled to herself, it was either Sharky or Eli. Probably Sharky.  
Her bag crackled and a muffled voice called out to her. She slid halfway off of the couch to grope around for it before finally snatching her bag and finding the radio.  
“Go for Deputy.”  
She waited a beat, “Go for Deputy…?”  
“Too late?”  
Jacob. Her smile grew wider.  
“Nah, I was getting up anyway.”  
She righted herself and got comfy on the couch. Jacob was in a talkative mood and she’d humor him as long as he kept it up. They talked about everything from the weather to their respective childhoods. She mentioned needing to take care of her locs and his curiosity had him asking after it. How she was able to keep it so clean and neat with the insane amount of bloodshed and carnage. She wound up teaching him about her hair and how it meant so much to her. He listened to her explanations, yawning on another question.  
“It’s late, Wolfman. Get some rest?”  
He hummed. “Goodnight, Esther.”  
“Night.”

Esther managed to sleep in until noon and felt energized as she scared the shit out of Sharky on his way out of the bathroom. Not long after, they made their way over to the Valley and met up with Pastor Jerome. He'd gotten a tip that there was a Resistance member that'd been kidnapped and it was 'pertinent' they get him back.  
Not a trap at all.

\---

“I told you not to get caught, Kitten.”  
She felt him run a hand over the width of her shoulders and down bound arms; she shivered. Her eyes were covered and she was suspended by an array of ropes tied around her torso, chest, and arms. This was either about to get real sexual or real racist. Too much like right.  
Esther tried to work her jaw around to speak. The left side ached and she’d bet all the weed in her stash at that she’d have bruises blooming by the time she got out.  
“The gods put me on this Earth to sow discord and cause a ruckus and I take that responsibility very seriously.”  
She felt a hand grip her chin, the outdoor scent Jacob carried around filling her senses. He smelled too much like outside, when was the last time he’d bathed?  
“Don’t tease them. Don’t play with John today, either. Joseph is here and he always makes him nervous.”  
She could feel his breath whisper across her lips.  
Esther nodded as best she could and let her head hang when the heat of him left her vicinity. Soon enough, a heavy door groaned open to her right and she heard the telltale sound of John’s Dramatique Shoes™ echo across the floor.  
“Hello, Deputy.” The way he said her title usually managed to make her chuckle, but an undercurrent of barely restrained glee colored his tone.  
He stopped short of her, maybe a few feet. She could smell his expensive cologne, an interesting contrast to Jacob.  
“John.” Her throat was dry as shit and it was more than obvious.  
“I’m so glad you were able to join us.” His tone was actually earnest, Joseph was most likely near.  
“Yes,” There he was. “You’re quite hard to catch, Deputy…”  
Joseph was waiting for her last name, heeding Jacob’s warning was probably her best bet anyway. For now.  
“Solomon.”  
Jacob made a soft, thoughtful noise in the back of his throat.  
“Solomon?” The clicks of John’s heels paced closer, circling her like a shark. “Starlight and Peace? You aren’t very peaceful, are you Esther?”  
She didn’t answer and John got a fistful of her locs clenched in his fist for it. She gasped, touching her hair was a no-no.  
“Bad touch, John.”  
He ignored her, “So long and maintained, almost vainly. However, your wrath would make you a great fit to be one of Faith’s Angels…”  
Faith’s little crackheads had absolutely no hair and wore the ugliest sweaters. She’d be damned if they could get her into one of those jumpsuits, either. They’d have to pump her full of the best shit for that to happen.  
"I'm gonna debone you like a fucking trout." She snapped her teeth.  
John's grip in her hair faltered, "Excuse me?"  
She heard Jacob stifle a giggle behind his hand and cough to cover it up.  
"You heard me, fuck face. Cut my hair and _you'll_ never know peace."  
John let go and laughed, Joseph clucked his tongue at her in disapproval. Someone punched her in the side and she grunted. It was a heavy hand, less likely to be John or Joseph, more likely to be Jacob but he hadn’t moved from his spot to the right. There was someone else in the room, then.  
“Language, child. No need for profanity.” Joseph’s even voice was fucking annoying. She hadn’t been chided for her curses since she was in high school.  
“Not a child.”  
John’s bark of laughter was bright, “No? You certainly act like one.” She could feel one of his hands wrap around the cord that kept her balanced, his weight shifting on it.  
“I’m thirty-three, John, and I’m not the one who throws a tantrum all the time. You literally stomp your foot.”  
“I do not--” John’s denial was cut short, probably by either a look from Joseph or a hand to the shoulder.  
Cool fingers, worn with use, touched her cheek. “Excuse us, child.”  
“Not a child.” She grumbled.  
She heard his soft footfalls out of sync with John’s obnoxious clacks.  
“Behave around Jacob, Esther. He’s not as...patient as John is.” She heard Joseph call out from the door. It shut softer than before, most likely Joseph’s doing.  
Esther heard Jacob bark to whoever else to watch the door. The man scrambled out of the room, the door shutting loudly. The sound of canvas shifting on jeans and the popping of joints alerted her to his rising. Heavy footsteps brought him so close that she could feel the heat radiating off of him again.  
His rough hands swept the blindfold up to her forehead. She blinked rapidly, the light hurting her eyes and making her squint up at him. The hanging lamp behind his head made his hair turn to flames, an LED halo behind his head.  
A slow smile spread across her lips, “Hey there, handsome.”  
Although his expression didn’t deviate from his natural Bitch Face, he huffed in amusement.  
“I warned you.”  
“I know, I just couldn’t help myself.”  
His lips screwed up at that and his gaze focused on her hair, tucking the locs John grabbed back with the rest loosely tied at the base of her neck. His hands were warm and she got a whiff of soap when he brushed his thumbs over her cheekbones.  
“Jacob, don’t let him do it.”  
He sighed and pressed their foreheads together.  
“I can’t stop him. With Joseph here, there’s nothing I can do.”  
He flashed her an apologetic look, kissed her quick and hard, and before she could blink, he had one hand in her hair and the other wrapped around her throat. The gasp she let out was short-lived.  
The door groaned open and Joseph glided in like a ghost with an impish John at his heels.  
“Brother?”  
She watched Joseph touch Jacob’s arm. His hold on her wasn’t tight, it was an easier grip than when they had sex. She could deal.  
“Hold her still, Jacob.”  
She saw the tick in his jaw and knew what was coming. Joseph’s fingers tipped her head so he could catch her eye.  
“Your vanity, child, will be your downfall. We’ll save you, release you from it.”  
Eyes wide as saucers, she stared at the shears in John’s left hand.  
“I wonder, Esther,” John mused. “if your hair is cut, will you lose all your power like Samson?”  
She was terrified. Her hair was more than decoration, more than vanity. It was an extension of herself and carried far more spiritual connotations than they knew.  
"Didn't Samson get his strength back in the end?"  
John's smile was slow and menacing, "Let's find out."  
“Don’t. _Please_.” She stared imploringly at Jacob for help, but she knew he wouldn’t. He couldn't choose her over his blood.  
John’s grin was white in her peripheral.  
Esther choked on a sob when John made the first cut. Jacob was blurry with her tears, her mumbled pleas fell on deaf ears.  
By the time John was finished, she could smell the fresh blood from where he nicked her. Esther was numb, her mind hazy. She had a hard time focusing on anything substantial. Twin lights swung from the ceiling out of sync like the rolling of eyes. There was a joke somewhere in there, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Someone was speaking but she couldn’t hear them. Almost like when you're in a pool and someone calls you from the outside. The lights were getting fuzzy around the edges, was she breathing? Did she even need to anymore?  
When she opened her eyes next, she was being roughly taken down from where she’d been dangling and dragged onto cool tile. Cold water was poured on her, shocking her from the void she was in.  
Maybe she was Samson and this was her end. Maybe her luck had finally run its course and her spirits left her.  
Hands grasped her face and a blurry Joseph invaded her view.  
“You are cleansed.”  
Esther’s eyes rolled back and his serene smile was all she saw before she dropped out of consciousness.

Joseph had released her to Jacob with a strange look about him. Eerily still with a glint to those blue eyes that made him look every part Seed. It was a knowing mischief. Perhaps he’d handed her over to break her or maybe the ‘Voice’ told him to. Either way, Jacob had her transferred to a cage in the bed of his truck still bound and shivering. She didn’t know how long it’d been, but the blood in her hair was dry and itchy on her scalp.  
The truck rumbled to life and down sped down the dirt road. She faded out again.

She was groggy, waking in parts. She was warming up but still shivering. Her head was unusually light and still itchy. Her eyes cracked open and her string lights twinkled overhead, almost greeting her. She was wrapped in every blanket in her house with pillows tucked in all around her. She felt disgusting, her skin was clammy and crawling so bad she had to rip herself out of the cocoon. As soon as her feet hit the floor, she fell shaky to her knees with a yelp.  
Quick feet brought Jacob into her bedroom and in front of her, quiet concern etched into his face. He looked Esther over before deeming her okay and hefting her back onto the mattress.  
“What’re you doing out of bed?”  
She couldn’t find her voice, but she was remembering what had happened. Her hands immediately went to her head, finding a woolen hat instead of her hair. She tore it off to run her hands over her shorn head and _cried_. Sobs bubbled up from her chest and she couldn’t breathe.  
Panic washed over Jacob’s face and his hands pat at her.  
“Why are you crying? You’re not bleeding, are you?”  
She stared at him in disbelief through her tears.  
“What?” His hands stilled at her knees.  
"I told you how I felt,” She sniffled. “I told you how much it meant to me, how it’s a part of who I am and--" More tears rolled out. "And you let them do it.” She hissed.  
Esther shoved his hands off of her and kicked away to the other side of the room.  
“Don’t be a child, I listened, but it’s just hair.”  
Esther had been told that her face was extremely expressive and that she was a complete open book. This had proven true when she saw the surprise on Jacob’s face in reaction to hers.  
“Just hair?” Her voice was low and dangerous. Any chill that she had was rapidly being overtaken by her outrage.  
He ran a hand over his face, “Alright, look. Just,”  
He crossed the distance between them and took hold of her by her shoulders.  
“Stop fighting me for a second.”  
“Why should I?” Her tone was careful, still angry.  
She tensed when his head dropped to her shoulder. It couldn’t have been good for his back, but she couldn’t really bring herself to care. Her body was still rigid when he swept his hands down her arms and up her sides to pause at her back. He pulled her closer and looked her in the eye. His cheeks were a splotchy red.  
“Let me--” He looked away, “Let me take care of you.”  
Esther’s eyes narrowed, “I can take care of myself.” She tried to shove him away, but he wouldn’t budge.  
“If anyone needs taking care of the most, it’s you.  
She was still pretty skeptical but didn’t make another move to tear away.  
Jacob stepped back from her to sit on the bed, holding his hands out as if to say, _See how I’m sitting down and not committing great acts of violence? Look how good I’m being._  
Esther wasn’t small in the slightest, but her usual confidence and brazen demeanor were nowhere to be found. She was acting cornered and skittish, it would’ve been funny if he wasn’t so concerned.  
Jacob left his lap open for her to climb into, but she skirted around him and sat as far as possible instead. He sighed hard through his nose and moved slowly to face her.  
“I’m trying to help you.”  
Her eyes were still narrowed but she wasn’t exactly poised to maul his face off, so he counted that as a win.  
Esther sucked her teeth, “I can take care of myself just fine. Evidently, no one else here can.”  
Jacob’s fists tightened in his lap.  
“Look, I’m not good at this--”  
“No shit.”  
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m not good at this, but I’m trying. Let. Me. Help.”  
If her eyes could narrow anymore, they’d be shut tight.  
“Fine.” She gritted out.  
He nodded and held his hand out for her. She looked at it like it personally offended her (not far off) but tentatively put hers in his. He gave her a light squeeze and gently pulled her toward him.  
Jacob eased her into his lap, her side into his chest. He ran a hand over her legs, up her flank, all the way up to her head. She flinched as soon as his palm skated over the cropped cut. Esther hung her head as he pet over it, her fist clenched in his shirt. She couldn’t control the tears pouring out.  
Jacob tucked her head under his chin and held her tight. He attempted to make soothing noises, but all that came out was a hum. He rolled with it into an old cadence. He cycled through a few more before leaning back to catch a few tears with his thumb.  
“Never seen anyone cry tears that big before.”  
She sniffled and mumbled back, “You make a lot of people cry.”  
He snorted and hummed another song, slower this time.  
“You want a bath?”  
She made a sleepy noise in response.  
“Bath. Yes or no?”  
She nodded, face planted in his neck.  
Jacob shifted her around, hooking her legs at his hips before standing up (his knee popped) and carrying her to the bathroom. He set her down on the fuzzy pink mat once they were inside, her toes were turquoise this time.  
Esther felt so small and helpless as she watched him root around in the cabinets under the sink. He huffed a laugh when he found a plastic box of bath bombs. If anyone could have a stash of them in the oncoming doom and end of everything, it was Esther. Container under his arm, he reached around her to run the bath.  
“Hot or warm?”  
She turned to look at him, eyes ringed red with a nose to match.  
“Boiling.”  
He dipped his head to acknowledge her and turned the hot water all the way up. He leaned a hip against the sink and rifled through the box, smelling a few.  
Jacob held a dark red one out to her, “Smell.”  
She leaned in and breathed in the scent of spices and myrrh.  
“Good?”  
She took another sniff and nodded.  
“I like dark and spicy scents.”  
“Then get on in.” He put the box down and turned off the water.  
Jacob helped her out of his shirt, unbuttoning it for her and sliding it down her shoulders. She wondered how he got her out of her clothes from earlier and if she’d find the tattered remains of her jeans in the kitchen garbage. She wasn’t wearing much under the shirt besides her underwear. Any other day, Esther would’ve been embarrassed about the childish polka dots, but she tugged them off and let him lower her into the scalding water.  
She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them so she could rest her head and watch him read the directions on the bath bomb.  
He tore off the wrapping and dropped it in, watching it disintegrate and turn the water a muddy red for a bit before stepping out of his borrowed sweatpants and shirt. She hadn’t noticed that he’d borrowed her clothes. He looked good in soft things.  
Jacob grunted for her to move forward so he could climb in behind her and bring her closer to his chest. He tried to keep some air between their bodies, mindful of his burns and scars, but she fell back into him and made herself comfortable.  
Esther watched gold sparkles fizz out into the water and absentmindedly ran her hand through it. She didn’t feel like speaking or thinking, so she didn’t. Surprisingly, Jacob did all the talking for her. He told her about what he liked best about the Army, his favored moments from his childhood, and funny stories about John. Despite her clear dissociation, she still noticed the parent-sized holes in his stories.  
The water was cool by the time she surfaced.  
“I grew up in a little redneck town in Florida. Not even big enough to see on a map.” She cupped water in a hand and let it slip through her fingers. “Never thought I’d be able to make it out alive.” She swirled her hands around in the water, pretending to redistribute the stars.  
"My family had a saying that the spirits lived in our hair and cutting it would make them lose us."  
She placed her hands on his bent knees and stretched out as far as she could.  
"The spirits of our ancestors, spirits of luck and happiness. All kinds."  
Jacob rubbed his beard against her head and ran water up her arms, the glitter making galaxies out of her skin.  
"You feel lost, unmoored."  
She nodded.  
"When conquerors would capture and make slaves out of people, they shaved their heads to break them. To take their status and their culture and their heritage and make them no more than a number or chattel."  
Jacob was quiet for a while, but wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.  
"I'd be lying if I told you that John and Joseph meant it only as a cleansing."  
"Yes, you would be." 

They finished their bath in a melancholic silence, Jacob stepping out first, helping her with the climb and wrapping her in a towel that matched the bathmat in both color and fuzziness. He ran his hand over her head again, this time she didn’t flinch away.  
“It’s different. Not bad, not good.”  
His blunt nails scratched at her scalp and her eyelids fluttered closed as she pushed her head into his hand.  
"I'll get used to it eventually. No one else might."  
He shrugged at that and swept her back up into his arms and carried her back into the room. He laid her out on the blankets and went back into the bathroom. Esther stared blankly at the ceiling, not knowing how to feel. They'd taken her anonymity from her. They'd taken her peace of mind and drowned her in blood. She'd have to file the anger away for later or it'd drown her too.  
Jacob came back into the room with her shea butter in hand. He looked odd to her standing in her doorway. His six-foot frame, naked as the day he was born, holding a mason jar of moisturizer in his hand. A hysterical laugh bubbled up from somewhere deep in her chest and she couldn't help but toss her head back and laugh. His raised brow only made her laugh harder.  
He shook his head at her and joined her on the bed, placing the jar down on the nightstand. He sat with his back against the headboard and watched her cheeks flush with her laughter. Once she calmed down, Esther flipped over to her stomach and turned her gaze to him. She crawled up to pillow her head on his inner thigh.  
"What'd you wanna do tonight?"  
"Suck my dick?" The corner of his mouth hitched up into a slight smile.  
Esther had to smother a few rouge giggles before replying. "I was hoping for something a little more romantic...?"  
He shrugged halfheartedly, "Suck my dick in the moonlight?"  
Her smile was wide, but barely touched her eyes, it looked all wrong on her.  
Jacob snatched up the jar and scooped some of the shea out and rubbed it between his hands. He massaged it into her back before moving lower and rubbing it into her ass cheeks. Esther sucked a trail hickies up his thigh and passed over his dick to start on the other. She felt his legs fall open a little wider and his warm hands find her head.  
She bit a sixth mark into his skin before looking up at him with empty eyes.  
"Talk to me?"  
He sighed and pulled himself out from under her and moved to the door.  
“Please don’t leave.”  
Jacob swung his head around so fast, she was sure he’d have whiplash.  
"I'm going to get you food. We are not having sex just because you don't want to deal with your problems. You "  
Her brows furrowed and he was back to her in two strides. He smushed her face between his palms.  
"You want to be punished? You say so. You don't want to _think_? You let me know. But we deal with our problems and die like men."  
Esther snorted and watched his bare ass walk out of her bedroom and into the kitchen. He managed to throw together a few grilled cheeses together and presented them to her.  
"No meat?"  
He balanced the plate in one hand as he lowered himself back onto the bed.  
"I don't eat meat."  
Esther made a noise of confusion. His constant speeches about people being meat and whatnot didn't add up with this new fact.  
"Why not?"  
He looked at her for a moment before sighing.  
"My spotter, Miller, and I were shot down and stranded 200 klicks away from the nearest base. We didn't have enough rations to last us and we were already weak. Insurgents and wolves were closing in on us." His gaze was far.  
"We'd already run out of food and a week in and Miller's legs stopped working." His eyes were sharp when they met hers.  
"He died so I could live."  
Esther winced. There wasn't much she could respond with that wouldn't be insensitive.  
She crawled over, kissed his cheek, and took a sandwich.  
"No meat, then."  
They talked about historic collapses and famous warriors. Jacob was extremely passionate about it, to the surprise of absolutely no one.  
"We've had so-called great empires run by emperors and kingdoms run by kings. Both have fallen. Now, we have countries--"  
"Run by **_cunts_** "  
His laugh was booming and shook his whole body.  
"Yes, run by cunts."

**Author's Note:**

> Between watching V for Vendetta and reminiscing about when I got my first haircut at 15 inspired this (I went from hair just below my shoulders to uneven tufts just long enough to get into braids. I was devastated and cried for weeks). Currently rocking an afro as an adult, though so. 
> 
> Also, none of my shit is beta read, so if you see any issues or mistakes, please lmk. I try my best to catch them, but it's hard, y'know?


End file.
